Summer, Summer, Summer Time!

Boys,

Summer break is finally here! I'm so thankful that both your mom and I can spend so much time with you guys during our summers. We got a chance to go up to the mountains the week after school (I'll try to post some pics) and I hope we get to go the beach also.

I have a lot of friends, most actually, that make a lot more money than we do, but I don't think any of them can say that they get to spend as much time off with their children as we do....money is not all its cracked up to be by our culture...There's much more important things in life than money. Sure it makes life a little easier...but not necessarily better or "richer". I hope you guys realize this. So, based on our budget, we'll try to do as many fun things as possible this summer...but you don't need money to spend time together!

Love dad,

Your Papa Buddy

Jalin & Devin,

I know this post is long past due, for no other reason than I just didn't know what to say...or how much to say about your Papa, my father. And then, last night you both said something that was pretty special. You were bother sitting down, watching TV when a commercial for a 'scooter chair' came on, like the one that Papa would use to get around the house sometimes. Jalin, you made the comment that if Papa was alive, we could get the chair for him to keep at our house so that when he came to visit, he could us it. Devin, your reply to that was, "It's ok that Papa died because now he is not sick anymore." And then you said that "Jesus came down to get Papa from his grave and took him back up to heaven and painted him gold like an angel." Insightful words from a 4 yr old! Thank you.

Your Papa Buddy died on March 11th, 2009, due to complications from a hip surgery. He was only 56....in the big scheme of things, a young man. I don't know how long the memory of him will stick with you guys as you are so young now and have so much growing up to do, but I sure hope you remember him. On days that he was not feeling well, seeing you, he would try to put on his best face. You guys brightened his days.

It sounds selfish to say, but I feel like I now have a burden to bear, big shoes to fill. He was an amazing man of God, husband, and father. And now, I wonder if I can be as good as he was. I'll certainly try.

Couldn't Have Said It Better...

Boys, Tim O'brien is my favorite author. I've read everything that he has written, including most of his essays. I hope that when you are ready, you will at least check out what he has written, if for anything else to see 'how' he uses words, how he creates the voice in his writing. It's pretty amazing. Below, is an essay that he sat down to write to his son. Since he is an 'older' father, he's a little worried that he might not get to experience his son's growing up into manhood. While this is not the case with me, I'm a fairly young father, what he has to say is pretty important and heartfelt, and to be honest, pulls at my heart-strings no matter how many times I read it.

"Dear Timmy,

A little more than a year ago, on June 20, 2003, you dropped into the world, my son, my first and only child – a surprise, a gift, a miracle, an eater of electrical cords, a fertilizer factory, a joy, a pain in the rear, a thrill in the heart, all the platitudes with a big red cherry on top.

Here’s the truth: Boy, oh boy, do I love you. And, boy, do I wish I could spend the next 50 years with my lips to your cheek, my eyes warming in yours.

But as you wobble into your sixteenth month, it occurs to me that you may never really know your dad. The actuarial stuff looks grim. Even now, I’m what they call an “older father”, and in 10 years, should I have the good luck to turn 68, I’ll almost certainly have trouble keeping up with you. Basketball will be a problem. And 20 years from now…well, it’s sad, isn’t it?

Sadder yet, that’s the very best scenario. Life is fragile. Hearts go still. So now, just in case, I want to tell you about your father, the man you think I am. And by that I mean not just the graying old coot you may vaguely remember, but the guy who shares your name and your blood and half your DNA.

Above all, I am this: I am in love with you. Pinwheeling, bedazzled, aching love. If you know nothing else, know that you were adored by your dad.

In many ways, a man is what he yearns for, and while it may never happen, I yearn to walk a golf course with at your side. I yearn for a golden afternoon in late August when you will sink a tough 12-footer to beat me by a stroke or two. I want to shake your hand. I want to say, “Nine more holes?”

I yearn to scatter good books around the house – in the bathroms, on the kitchen counter, on the floor beside your bed – and I hope I’m there to watch you pick one up and turn that first precious page. I yearn to see the rapture on your face. (Right now, you eat books.)

I yearn to learn from you. I want to be your teacher, yes, but I also want to be your student. I yearn to be taught, again and again, what I’ve already started to know: that a grown man can find pleasure in the sound of a happy squeal, a gap toothed grin, in the miraculous utterance of the word “Daddy”.

I yearn to watch you perform acts of kindness and generosity. I yearn to witness your first act of moral courage. I yearn to hear you mutter, however awkwardly, “Yeah, yeah, I love you, too,” and I yearn to believe you will mean it.

It’s hard to imagine as I watch you now, so lighthearted and purely good, so ignorant of gravestones, but, Timmy, you’re in for a world of hurt and heartache and sin and doubt and frustration and despair. You will do fine things, I know, but you will also do bad things, because you are wholly human, and I wish I could be on hand to offer forgiveness.

More than that, I long for the day when you might also forgive me. I waited too long Timmy. Until the late afternoon of June 20, 2003, I had defined myself, for better or worse, by the novels and stories I had written. I had sought myself in sentences. I had loved myself only insofar as I loved a chapter or a scene or a scrap of dialogue. This is not to demean my life or my writing. I do hope you will someday read the books and stories; I hope you will find my ghost in those pages, my best self, the man I wish to be for you. Call it pride, call it love, but I even dare to hope that you will commit a line or two to memory, for in the dream-space behind those vowels and consonants is the sound of your father’s voice, the kid I once was, the man I am now, the old man I will soon become.

That said, I would trade every syllable of my life’s work for an extra 5 or 10 years with you, whatever the going rate might be. A father’s chief duty is not to instruct or to discipline. A father’s chief duty is to be present. And I yearn to be with you forever, always present, even knowing it cannot and will not happen.

There have been advantages, of course, to becoming a father at my age. I doubt that at 28 or even 38 I would have been so willing – so eager – to walk away from my work to warm your bottle. I doubt I would have fully appreciated, as I do now, the way you toddled over to me this morning and laughed and gave me a first unsolicited hug. (You knew I was waiting, didn’t you?) I doubt I would have so easily tolerated the din at bedtime, or your stubborn recklessness, or your determination to electrocute yourself, or the mouthfuls of dirt you take from the potted plants in the foyer, or how, just a moment ago, you hit the delete key as I approached the end of this letter.

You’re on my lap now, my spectacular Timmy. I’m using your fingers to type these words.

I love you."

Dad

Holiday Family Time 2008

Boys,

This weekend after Thanksgiving, we put up all of our Christmas decorations. Of course you guys were really excited. We have more than 25 days until Christmas but I think we have already watched The Polar Express more than 10 times! LOL. After a while, you guys got a bit distracted and found other stuff to play with. But, for the most part we stayed in the same room together....that is the important part. I hope that you both continue to enjoy and realish the family time that we get to spend together. It sure means a lot to your mom and me. It seems that throughout the year we tend to get a bit distracted and can take family time for granted, but Thanksgiving and Christmas remind us how important our time together is. I look forward to each and ever time, not just the holidays, that we can spend quality family time together.

Love,

Choices...

Boys,

The other day one of my students came to me and filled me in on a very bad choice that she and one of her friends made together. They went into a department store and tried to steal clothes, over $600 worth! Of course they were caught, arrested, and turned over to their parents. Now, this was a shock to me because, in class, this young lady is always very pleasant and never has given me any hint that she would ever do something like this. In telling me what she had done, she was very embarrassed and she realized what a horrible mistake she made. Now, she has to pay the consequences. I asked her "why" she made the choice to steal and she simply replied, "because I wanted more clothes." I hope that after this episode, she will make better choices in the future.

My point here is that both of you will be faced with tough choices throughout your lives. As you get older, it 'should' be easier to make the better choice because you will be wiser(in theory). But when you are young, sometimes....well, a lot of times, you just don't think things through, which can lead to making really poor choices. I just want you guys to know that if you are faced with tough choices and you don't know what to do, or you think you are about to make a dumb choice, come to me or your mom. Sometimes it's not smart to let friends dictate your choices or give advice. Having said that, I hope you surround yourself with friends that tend to make the better choices.

This student chose to make the wrong choice because she wanted something that she didn't have the money for. I have news for ya boys...that will probably always be the case. There are going to be times in your life that you want something really bad, a toy, a game, clothes, whatever. And there are going to be times when your mother and I just can't get it for you. I hope that you never feel the need to try and steal something without paying for it. It's just not worth it...ever. I remember, when I was 11 or 12, going into a local department store and cramming my pockets full of little paint bottles for model cars.(I liked putting model cars together). Instead of asking my parents to buy me a couple of bottles, I simply decided to take the colors I needed. I walked out of the store and met my mom and dad outside talking on the sidewalk. They looked at me, my pockets bulging with little paint bottles, and they knew what I had done. (yes, parents have a sixth sense, and I was very obvious too) The look on my parents face was one of disappointment and anger. My mom marched me back into the store and made me put back all the bottles of paint. She bought me one bottle. Of course, when I got home I was punished, a spanking I'm sure; I deserved it. The look of my parents face didn't make me feel good about myself and the choice I made. If I had only asked mom for a bottle of paint, she probably would have gotten it for me...If I would only have asked.

Fellas, if you need or want something, ask.
If you are about to make a dumb decision and you need help with it, come to us before it's too late.

Love you!

First Bike Race!

Jalin,

You had your first "bike race" this year. You had to do one lap over a couple of city blocks in downtown Columbia. You did very well! (you won for your age) The really neat thing is that the local news agency came to collect some video clips of my race and saw you getting ready. The reporter came over and interviewed you about cycling. You gave really good responses, and then, you said THE COOLEST THING EVER. The reporter asked you, if when you grew up, did you want to be like Lance Armstrong. You simply shook your head "No", and replied, "I want to be like my daddy." Good answer my boy! Good answer. To be honest, that response brought tears to my eyes. It really means a lot that you feel that way...but of course you are only 6(at the time). As you get older, hopefully, I'll still rank up there in the top 3 somewhere! If not, then please let me know where I went wrong.

Devin, you were excited to see your brother finally race. You were there cheering him on. Your time will come very soon.

About cycling: Jalin, Devin, you guys know how much cycling means to me. There are times, it seems, that it almost consumes a lot of how I plan my day. To compete on an elite level, sometimes it has to be that way. I try very hard to keep things balanced though. It's tough. Having said that, I hope you guys don't ever feel pressured to ride the bike like I do. Right now, you love riding your bikes and you are very good at it--much better than most kids your age. I hope you do get involved with it, but I will never be that father that forces you to 'race' or do anything that you don't really want to get involved in. But for now, keep riding hard!

Two of a kind!

Boys,

I hope that as you grow older, you stay just as close as you are now. You guys do EVERYTHING together! (even get into trouble together) Because you are so close, I hope that in the future when you are faced with tough choices, choices that could get one of you hurt or in a bad position, that one of you has the wherewithal to encourage the other to make the right decision...did that sound confusing? I just want you to look after each other...all the time! Stay close to each other, tell your brother you love him, and keep each other focused on the good things in life.

Back to school!

Devin, you started at the Sunshine House and you are really excited. You think you are finally going to 'big boy school.' I think you are most excited because you know that Jalin once went there...and you know you HAVE to do everything he does. (or so you think) When I went to pick you up on the first day, the teacher said that you and Jalin were NOTHING alike. Of course, we know that and it's what makes you guys so great. I guess you will settle in to their routine and it won't be an issue....I hope :-)

Jalin, you started 1st grade and you were really excited too. Gosh, where is the time going. Of course when you guys come home, your mom and I ask you about your day, what you did, what you ate. We are just so interested in all that stuff and hope that you never get to the point to where you don't want to let us know these things. I hope you guys have a great school year and stay away from all the colds and flus! :-D

Love ya!

Dinner at the Table--It matters!

Jalin & Devin,

It seems as though in today's fast paced world, families don't eat together at the dinner table as much as the used to. Sure, we like to use the excuse that families these days are always on the go and just don't have time to sit down together, as a family, for a meal. Hogwash! We will make time. Your mother and I always make it a point to sit down at the dinner table together. There have been times that we allow you guys to make a pic-nic blanket on the floor in the den but those times are few and far between. I hope you understand why. I want you to know that the time we get to spend together at the table is one of the important things in life because we get to spend time with each other. I want you to know that we can talk about things around the table, how your day went, and what you did. Families that eat together at the dinner table generally eat healthier. For me, one of the highlights of my day is when I get to hear you guys say the dinner grace. That's good stuff!

So don't get frustrated when there is something on T.V. that you really want to watch and we tell you to come to the table. The T.V. show that you are missing can wait and will probably come back on again in the near future, but we won't be able to spend forever at the table together. So, for now, while I can make you, you are going to sit down with us and we are going to eat together...because it matters! I hope you and your family, when that time comes, do the same thing.

Love ya!
Dad

Nobody owes you ANYTHING!

Jalin & Devin,

I have noticed something in young people today, especially in the district that I am teaching in. One thing that really gets on my nerves is how kids think that they are always owed something or that they are entitled. They think that everything has to be given to them, without working at it. They think they are entitled to certain things just because of 'who' their parents are or how much money they have.

Boys--you are not entitled to anything; no one owes you anything. Work hard all the time to get what you want. It's that simple. If a teacher does not give you a test review, don't think that you are entitled to one. You should have kept up with the material anyway and should be able to give yourself a test review. If you fail a test, don't think that you should be given a 'make-up' test; you should have studied anyway. Suck it up; do better next time. Simple.

In life, you make things happen. Don't expect things to be given to you. You will be a much better person and that is the most important thing...to be a good, honest, hardworking individual.

Love,
Dad

Girls already? Uh Oh!

Jalin,

Lately, you have been mentioning a certain young lady that is in your class(you are only 6yrs old!). You came up with the idea that you wanted to make her a card; you also wanted to give her a .25 cent ring! Wow! Already? It is kinda cute but it brings to mind something that I want you and Devin to always remember.

I believe and hope that I have set a good example for you as to how to treat females. ALWAYS treat them like a princess. Be vary nice and never forget the small stuff that you are supposed to do.

When you get older, always remember to open doors for girls/women, always. When you pick up your girlfriend to go out, always open her door. Go to her front door and talk with her parents first...EVERY TIME!

I just want you guys to be nice, thoughtful young men. Remember, you guys have the rest of your life to worry about girls, so don't be in a rush.

I'll add more on this subject later...

Love,
Dad

Family Time!

Jalin & Devin,

After church this past Sunday, we decided to stop by the little park in Irmo, SC. We had you guys dressed up in your little dress coats and you guys looked great! Y'all have always enjoyed taking pictures (maybe b/c I take so many). We took a bunch of pictures of you guys and Jalin you took the camera and took some pictures of your mom and me. It was a good time...very enjoyable.

My point is that I hope you guys remember those times. I hope they help to make up who you are. I hope that you will do that kind of stuff with your family too. It's what life is all about!

Love,
Dad

Bad words...

Jalin,

The other day you and your brother were playing and teasing each other about something. Your mom and I were sitting down on the couch while y'all were playing. Jalin, Devin was teasing you about something and you called him a "liar". Well, once you mother and I heard that we asked you what you said--just to be clear. You said, "liar". We got upset with you for saying that word and kinda barked at you. Of course you started to cry because you knew we were angry with you for saying that word. Now...I feel bad about it. I never want you to cry and I did not mean to bark at you. It's just that the word "liar" is a strong word. We don't want you using that word. It's just ugly. As I'm sure you remember, by now, there are certain words that we don't like to say around our house, 'liar' is one of those words. "Hate" is another word, as is "shut-up". I do know that you will use those words in your lifetime, but I just want you to remember how strong they are. I want you to remember how hurtful and ugly they can be. Words are great but man can they do some damage if you use them in the wrong way. Choose your words carefully; they are truly a double edged-sword!

Love ya!
Dad

Trunk or Treat!

Oct 31st, 2007:

Jalin, Devin, we went to church last night to "trunk or treat." Jalin you were dressed up like a soccer player and looked very athletic. Devin you were dressed up like Spiderman; I think you have had that costume on for 1 straight week! When you come home from school, you put that thing on!

I was thinking on my way in to work this morning; I hope and pray that you guys continue to mature in to good boys and young men. I do hope that I am setting a good example. Jalin, you are doing very well in Kindergarten--you love going to school. Devin, you also look forward to going to "Miss CeCe's" school, the KitDen. I just hope you guys keep liking school.

As of late...

Jalin, Devin,

I wrote this in Dec of 2002 when I was kind of depressed about our money situation at the time...

As of late, it seems that life has placed burdens on my shoulders that seem too heavy to bear. At times, life seems very discouraging, and then, I watch you as you sleep. Every problem that I have, every burden that seems too heavy to bear, is forgotten. It is during that moment, as I watch you sleep, that all my "problems" seem trivial. I hope that one day you will know and understand just how much we love you guys. So, here's to you my sons, in hopes that you will one day have the world...and everything in it.

Your father,

Some thoughts to consider...

Boys,

I have a book that I keep for you guys. It's called "Thoughts to Share with a Wonderful Son" It's a book containing poems and other thoughts about the joy of having sons. In the margin, I personally have written some of my own thoughts. I hope you guys find the book and read it. Here is what I wrote on one page:

1. Try to be/live like Jesus Christ. This is hard to do and you will fail because you are wholly human, but He just wants you to try. Let Jesus emancipate you, because you will be in chains until then.
2. Always listen to you mother....Always--no matter how grown you think you are.
3. Always keep your word, because in the end, it's all you really have.
4. Always treat girls/women like princesses because that is what they are.
5. Please stay away from the bad things in life. Stay away from bad people. Surround yourself with good, positive people.
6. Make some money if you get a chance. Life is a lot easier with money. HOWEVER, don't make money the most important thing in your life....Life is so much more than that!
7. With everything you do, just do your best.
8. Learn to lose.
9. Be active, play sports and live clean and healthy. Take care of your body...it's the only one you got! :)
10. Treat all people with respect, no matter who they are or what they believe.
11. Don't smoke!
12. Don't curse!
13. Read, Read, Read! Learn to love words, but also to respect words. They can hurt people too.
14. Be polite.
15. Smile--always
16. Love your brother. Take care of each other. Be there for him, always!
17. Do your best in school--respect your teachers.
18. Don't identify people by the the color of their skin. People have names or other identifying options.
19. Don't think that everything should be given to you. You are not entitled!
20. Do NOT drink while underage. It's just stupid and totally not worth it! Think of everything that you could lose.
21. Drugs are for losers. If you take them, at that moment you will be a loser too; don't be fooled. If you have a friend that offers them, run, don't walk to the nearest exit! Call me!
22. Read your Bible. Know it well. It is THE instruction book for life.
23. Read Shakespeare's works over and over again.
24. See Shakespeare's works over and over again.
25. Apologize if you were wrong.
26. Listen!
27. Express your gratitude.
28. No matter how old you get, say "yes 'mam" and "no 'mam"; "yes sir" and "no sir". It's a respect thing.
29. Think of your own thoughts. Be your own person, not a sheep that follows the fold.
30. Be your brother's keeper! Always.
31. NEVER be afraid or ashamed to tell us anything.

This is not a complete list of course. Maybe I'll keep adding to it.

Love,
Your father.

April 28th 2005

To Devin and Jalin,

Time flies boys! Too fast! Devin, I started writing in this journal before you were born, when Jalin was just a newborn. From now on, this journal is for you too!

My goal was to write in the journal quite often so that you guys could have something that would let you know how much you mean to your mom and me. Life, as always, keeps you busy--too busy; however, this is no excuse. I should do a better job of finding the time to write down my thoughts and feelings to you--this is a lesson to you both-slow down! Don't let like pass you by-find time to do the important things in life.

Jalin-you have been a good big brother. We are very proud of you. I want you to always take care of your brother-always! Never forsake him. Never let anything come between you two. Stay very close to each other and do NOT be ashamed to say, "I love you."

Devin, you are growing in leaps and bounds. You too are such a good little boy. We have been very blessed to have such happy babies. Hopefully, that is a product of growing up in a house where the mom and dad love and respect each other. You are crawling everywhere; you get into everything. We have to constantly keep an eye on you. You like being around Jalin--that's good! You can keep an eye on him too.

We love you both,
Your Father,

April 23rd 2003

I just wanted to say this:

Know this Jalin,

You are the light of our world. There is not a day that goes by when you are not on our minds. Throughout the day, we think of you and what you are doing when we are not with you. We can't wait till we get off of work so that we can see you and play with you. We would do anything in the world for your happiness!

Devin, the above passage was written before you where born. I hope you know that you TOO are the light of our world. We love you just as much!! (5-16-2005)

April 20th, 2003

HAPPY EASTER!!!
I hope by now(when you read this) you know the importance of this day--not just to find eggs!

Your mom is reading to you in the bed. She is reading some nursery rhymes. You are a big mess. We took you on the Silver Comet trail today and you played their a little. You took very good easter pictures. Take a look back at some of the pics when you get a chance. I plan to take a whole lot more as you grow up.

Love you,
Your father

April 19th 2003

You slept with us last night in our bed. I have to admit that I feel that all is right with the world when you sleep beside me. You were trying to fight sleep--you got down from the bed and pulled your high-chair in the bedroom--that was funny! That is what you do when you are hungry now. I put you back in bed and you began to fall asleep. I looked over at you and your mom was falling asleep and y'all seemed so peaceful. what a family! You are going to work with your mom this morning--so be a big boy.

Love,
Your Father

April 18th 2003

I just woke you up and took you to daycare--you love going there. The ladies at the daycare call you "little Tiger Woods" b/c of how you were dressed. You looked like a little golfer. (I'm sure you have heard of Tiger by now) You started climbing up in your high-chair all by yourself--just like a little boy loves to climb. You also like pretending that you can unlock/lock our house and car doors. You love to sing "Ol McDonald Had a Farm" and you just started saying "bye bye". You are an amazing little dude. Not much like a baby anymore--more like a little boy. You like climbing up and down the stairs. Hopefully we can get a house soon so you can run around more.

Love you!
Your Father

April 1st, 2003

To our baby boy,

You grow so big now. You walk and run all around the house-playing and getting into everything. We just got you an indoor slide that you love going down. You say "thank you" a lot, in your baby talk. I have to take you to the doctor today to get your shots and a check-up. Your mom is at work. The sun is shining bright outside, maybe we can go for a bike ride. I put you in a cart and pull you behind my single-speed.

Love,
Your Father,

Jan. 27th 2003

As always, I still take pictures of you. It is my wish that we will preserve those pictures of you so you can look back on them and know that you were loved. We love looking back at the pictures to remember how cute and funny you are. You and your mom are in the quest bedroom sleeping. You are so tall and big now. I cut your hair now. You kinda look like a little Marine. You laugh when I cut your hair with the clippers. you like going to daycare too. You get to play with your friends. I keep you at home with me on most Tuesdays and Wednesdays. We get to spend a lot of time together. You fell off of the bed the other night and it really scared us. You started crying and we felt so bad. You didn't cry though. You scratched you eye today so it was a little red.

Love,
Your Father,

September 22, 2002

Once again, too much time has passed since I have written in this journal. Hopefully, I can make myself remember to do this more often. You have grown so much since the last entry. You are walking now and I mean you are walking/running everywhere! You are walking very well. We have to keep an eye on you all the time. You like to slam the kitchen cabinets-we keep telling you "no" but you don't seem to grasp that yet-even though we spank you on your leg, you jut laugh and keep going. What a mess! Your mom just took you out of the bathtub; you love taking baths! You started walking at 10months and you have a mouth full of teeth. You like to eat what we are eating. I still take a lot of pictures of you, which hopefully you have seen by the time you get to read this. I just love taking any kind of pictures of you. Every moment is an important moment and I want to be able to look back at it. The Vuelta a Espana is on this month. Maybe you will be in it one day...or win it! Your birthday is coming up and we plan on going to your Aunt T's to celebrate. I hope you have a good time. You are such a big boy-you walk around the house like you are in complete control-I guess you are. We love you so much--more than you can ever know right now--but one day, I hope you will know. Goodnight my sweet, sweet boy.

Your father,

May 10th, 2002

To my amazing son,

I guess I have done a pretty lousy job of writing in your journal. I planned on writing in this journal everyday. As you can see, that attempt has failed--for that, I am sorry.
You've grown so much since my last entry. But, still yet, you are still amazing to us. It would be impossible to list the number of new things that you are doing. You started saying "dadadada" Sometimes you just keep saying it. I would like to believe that you are saying it for me, but I know you are not--right now anyway. You feed yourself very well now and sit up too. Of course, you still have a ton of hair. I want to give it a trim, but, your mom want let me. You are taking a nap right now and you sleep very hard. We took a long walk on the Silver Comet Trail...I took more pictures of you.

Love,
Your Father,

December 19th 2001

Again, I came home late, 6:00pm Your mom was feeding you. I picked you up and we all went and sat on the love seat together. We talked about the day. You were good for the rest of the night, although, you are getting very spoiled. You always want to be held or to swing.
I hope you know how much we love you. I hope you also see how much that your mom and I love each other. Mom just went to get you a diaper, so we are about to go to bed. We love you!

December 18, 2001

I got home at 6:00pm and you were asleep in your swing. I woke you up so I could hold you. (sorry!) You really love that swing. Sometimes, you suck your thumb while you are swinging. It's 9:00 now and we are about to go to bed. I'll see you in the morning. I love you Jalin! Night, Night!

December 17, 2001

It was 5:00pm when I got home, so I didn't get to spend much time with you before we all went to bed. Your mother and I played with you in the bed for a long time. You finally went to sleep. You are such a good boy! You woke up early that morning and you wanted to stay up. Your mother was so tired. I hated to leave you and your mother in bed the next morning, but I had to work :(

December 16, 2001

Today was the first time, since you were born Jalin, that we went to church as a family while in Georgia. We dressed you up and took you to church. You started crying when we entered the church because the music was very loud. I felt so sorry for you. You had this pitiful look on your face. Once you got used to it, you were fine. You did very well for the rest of the service. You slept in my arms for the most of the time, then, in your mom's.

December 15, 2001

I have decided to keep, or, start keeping a personal journal--mainly for Jalin [and Devin's] sake. Jalin, you had a pretty good night last night. I got up and went to the store early this morning while you and mommy were sleeping. When I got back, you was on the couch, sucking your thumb. We relaxed and played with you for the rest of the day.